dinsdag, oktober 12, 2010

My lifelist: Why writing things down makes things happen

Maybe this is a bit of a bold statement to start this post with. Why writing things down makes things happen. It assumes I know the answer and I don't. I think I might have and I hope to have a clearer answer when I am on the end of this article. Because that is what writing defineteley does for me. It makes things clearer. I can think louder if I use my fingers to do the thinking. But writing makes things happen too. For someone who chose a career in words it took me a long long time to realize this is actually true. As I've told before I was a sceptical person when I was younger. I was someone who thought she was who she was and that was it. In short I denied being able to learn, grow and improve. This very blog is one of the ways I tried to change and it has helped. But I don't think I would have formulated the sentence above when I just started this blog. I had been playing with affirmations at the time. All very much in secret because half of me thought I was going nuts. There were two reasons for starting to tell myself positive stuff.

* I knew exactly how powerful negative affirmations were. Didn't I tell myself all the time that I was chaotic and clumsy and stupid and not worth my job and my life. And didn't that get me down. So it might be possible that the opposite might work too.

*My first son birth was quite a traumatic event. When pregnant with my second child My therapist instructed me to visualise my perfect birthing experience. I resisted strongly but she is a therapist that loves a challenge and she got me fantasising about being all alone birthing this perfectly healthy baby. I thought it was useless because I wasn't even allowed to have a home birth let alone an all alone one. And I couldn't think my child healthy could I? (If that was true I would've failed my oldest, I didn't). And then I gave birth and I had two doctors talking about their vacation while I laboured and I told them to shut up and they did. Saying you're in charge here.. And I was but hadn't I visualised my ideal birth I hadn't had this clear idea of what I wanted. I would have gotten irritated when these ladies talked without letting them know what I wanted from them because I wouldn't haver realized what that was. I wouldn't have told them how hard it was to not go home for ten days with your baby and then the morning nurses wouldn't have come in at 6 in the morning to tell me I was definitely going home that day. A gesture that still melts my heart. I felt so much more seen that second time around and it was because I made my self visible.

So writing things down shows me what I want and who I am. At the same time writing things down is an action and action will be followed by reaction (Can't help it I live with a physicist). In others words other things will happen. And you want things to happen in your life and you want to have a bit of control on these things. You know you don't have all the control (If you don't know contemplate the idea and start to let go, it is freeing). Writing a list of things you want to do in your life will show you what you want to do in your life which is quite something. It will be a positive affirmative way of expressing who your are and what you want out of life and when you know what you want you will look for it and when you share your list it may find you.

Since I started my morning pages I see the effect of writing stuff down every day. My fears get smaller when bound to paper and my dreams get bigger. So when I was surfing the web mindlessly last week and came upon Karen Walronds life list and then Maggie Masons Mighty lifelist I knew it was for me. I tried to make a list with big and small things and things that push me just slightly out of my comfort zone. And I truly hope that this list will help me transform myself form a dreamer to a doer... So here the 100 things I want to do in my life (well 88, any tips for the last twelf will be appreciated.. I made it in Dutch and if it sounds not quite right it is because I am not a translator by nature!
1 write a book
2 write a paid column
3 set up a craft circle
4 learn to felt
5 learn to can properly
6 own a store
7 travel America in a camper van
8 witness a Japanese tea ceremony
9 plant a tulip bed
10 make a quilt
11 write an article for Flow
12 take a colour advice
13eat in five different non western restaurants I haven't been before
14 learn to sail
15 act at a historical day event
16 redo my reanimation course
17 go to a network meeting
18 do some sort of guerilla art project
19 leave 20 comments on individual blogs that touch me
20 learn to fold paper cranes
21 sell something I crafted
22 design my own pattern
23 learn to knit
24 learn to crochet
25 swim in sea at sundown
26 walk the Pieterpad in one trip
27 go on a dogsleddingtrip
28 try to live self reliant for a week
29 write letters to 10 people I love
30 write my children a letter to have later about who I am and what I see about them now
31 learn to fillet a fish
32 learn to cook game
33 go geocaching
34 take a picture a day for a year
35 have a nice day out in all provincecapitals
36 make my own personal poetry anthology
37 get our own photographs on the wall
38 Make a picture story with my children
39 make a list of parenting goals
40 go to a luxury spa for a day
41 send a doll travelling
42 spread 100 positive affirmations in town
43 burn a candle in 15 different catholic churches
44 make a wedding cake
45 make bonbons
46 make ice cream
47 own chickens
48 build a house shed by myself
49 make mustard
50 make our own play doh
51 preach in church
52 make my own friends book and spread around
53 eat a fish that I caught myself
54 churn my own butter
55 write four different kinds of poems
56 go to the theatre for a high culture play
57 try 50 different kinds of whiskey
58 write and illustrate my own picture book
59 keep an art journal
60 really photograph all my loved ones
61 make a stop motion movie
62 make a beauty of me self-portrait
63 make my own soap
64 listen to 1000 new songs
65 give a big party
66 visit my pen-pal Jim in jail
67 camp in the wild
68 camp with the kids
69 host an afternoon tea
70 learn to make 30 different cocktails
71 have a manicure
72 have a hot stone massage
73 make 5 new friends
74 make fries from scratch
75 have very short hair again
76 paint grandma's old cabinet and use it
77 buy myself original art
78 own a Helmantel
79 make a cooking book of my own favourite recipes
80 learn to bind a book
81 live and work on a farm
82 go on a primitive hike again
82 play zwarte piet
83 learn to photo shop
84 go see Sinead o'connor in concert
85 learn more about jazz
86 go on a holiday all by myself
87 earn a decent salary working for myself
88 taste 50 different mustards

1 opmerking:

elianne zei

89. een grote picknick organiseren
90. slapen onder de sterren, nog een keer.
91. mijn familiegeschiedenis vast leggen voor mijn kinderen
92. figureren in een film
93. leren tekenen
94. een luisterboek inspreken
95. een week in een klooster doorbrengen
96. vasten
97. spaans leren
98. in het buitenland wonen
99. vechtsport leren
100. the artist way een keer echt afmaken

groet elianne ( van zus.punt )