woensdag, september 10, 2008

sharing with the world

One thing I worked at last monday in therapy was opening my heart. I am quite sure I am not the only one doing this, but when feeling down and out I tend to shut down. Go into my cave whatever you call it.

She said to me, you close your heart in those times. So you can't share with the world and the world can't come to you. So I realy tried to open up again which is quite hard as I don't even realise how isolated I make myself and then came today. I got a lovely e-mail on my work account from a random but local stranger who told me he loved what I am doing. I called a guy I think I should work with and he was even more enthusiastic then I am. And then one of my customers that I felt bad about because of letting them down stood for my front door asking if I was all right, still loving my work. It was surreal. I might convert to the secret.. ;)

The sun was shining and I was in the bittersweet job of cutting down the hollyhocks. I thought lets share this happiness So if your interested in some gorgeous hollyhocks in your own garden leave a comment with an e-mail adres and I'll ship out some seeds..

maandag, september 08, 2008


Gretel walks through the woods. She plays in the ferns, she eats some blueberries, and has the pocket of her apron stuffed with conkers. The sunlight touches the deepgreen moss but Gretel isn't happy.

She shouldn't have gone into the woods, she should 've freed Hansel. I mean, after all isn't the key of the cage somewhere beneath the conkers.

But someone else might do it, she thinks. She goes along singing a bit louder, wondering when a knight in shining armour would pull up and ask: "you look happy, do I need to rescue someone for you my lovely?"

Of course no one shows. Because knights and witches are not very common in real life. They tend to live their lives in our imagination more then anywhere else.

So it might not have been the smartest thing to lock Hansel in a cage just so the witch couldn't do it. It seemed smart then somehow when Hans thought it all out. It is better if you play in the woods and I stay here then that we both get cought, he said.

But without Hansel Gretel was just not Gretel. She was Gretel thinking about Hansel. She never thought about Hansel when they runned trough the woods together. so whe spread the conkers beneath a beechtree and slowly wnet back to the cute little house that had a cage in the backyard.

Gretel was afraid, but she went anyway.

*You might need to know that my therapist is big on fairytales.I went to see her this morning, it was good and I was ordered to play Hans and gretel for a while. She actually orderd crafting aswel.

dinsdag, september 02, 2008

OK I might need to improve again for a while

so the least I can do is document the journey, can't I. It might help me to think. I seem to be in a feeling mode more then a thinking one, the last couple of months. While feeling is ok, it helps if one attached words to it every once in a while. It might even help you realise what you are feeling..

posted today. And I thought about te beinning of this blog and how it changed things for me. It might do that again, If I let it..

So taking of once again. I have no idea where this will take me and if anyone will be here to see but I am jumping back in none the less