donderdag, januari 31, 2008

Not on fear but on poetry

I have rescheduled fear for tonight (Is yesterday's post but blogger went down and took my post ith him). I just foend out that today is gedichtendag in the netherlands. That is poetryday. I havent written anything in ages but I am quite good at reading poetry so for my dutch readers my alltime favourite communist: Herman Gorter

Het strand was stil en bleek,
ik zat doodstil en keek
naar de blauwe rimpeling --
er was ook windgezing.

Ik wist wie naast me zat
witrokkig en ze had
roosrood het glad gezicht --
er was ook veel zonlicht.


If you never read Verzen go do so today. If it rains to hard to leave the house check him out online.

One day I will have to quilt the above poem..Gorter is so visual somehow. I like that in a poem probably why my only english poetrybook is wordsworth:

I WANDERED LONELY AS A CLOUD

I wandered lonely as a cloud:
That floats on high o'er vales and hills,
When all at once I saw a crowd,
A host of golden daffodils;
Beside the lake, beneath the trees,
Fluttering and dancing in the breeze.

Continuous as the stars
that shine and twinkle on the Milky Way,
They stretched in never-ending line
along the margin of a bay:
Ten thousand saw I at a glance,
tossing their heads in sprightly dance.

The waves beside them danced; but they
Out-did the sparkling waves in glee:
A poet could not but be gay,
in such a jocund company:
I gazed - and gazed - but little thought
what wealth the show to me had brought:

For oft, when on my couch I lie
In vacant or in pensive mood,
They flash upon that inward eye
Which is the bliss of solitude;
And then my heart with pleasure fills,
And dances with the daffodils.






































I do realise by the way that htere has been poetry written in the last centuryand ahalf. I do like a lot of it. But well if I can only take one book to a desert island it would be Gorter..

dinsdag, januari 29, 2008

Selfportraittuesday: Celebration!

After yesterdays post I of course had to check out self portrait tuesday. I now knew why I quit I still found the new set up confusing but will try I mean it is tuesday every week. So that makes a lot less word posts in a year ;-)

Theme of this month is celebration! And this is me celebrating everyday life. Why eat a biscuit when one has cake and why drink your coffee from a boring cup?

maandag, januari 28, 2008

pictures

I am behind on my children's fotoalbums for the first time since becoming a mom. Today I realise how important it is to make these albums. I scanned pictures more then 90 years old pictures and boy were the tens and twenties glamorous! But that was not the point. The point was seeing the love for a child mirrored in cute hair bows, cuddles on the beach, outings to the forest. And seeing the child feel the love despite both of these loving parents been death and burried as long as I live..

I mean I am happy as well that my mom made these picture of me.. I think this was the last time I trusted a teenager until I was one myself my neighbour made me believe I could lay an egg...(can't believe I didn't find an excuse to use them in a personal history picture back when I did spt)

There is something more profound hiding in this post but it is slipping into the nonverbal part of my brain every time I want to trap it into letters..

I pod meme

So I was totally braindead when I wanted to post yesterday. Most of these twice a day posts are things I have written in my head on the appropriate day and then typed the next. Yesterday was the first time I really had no idea. So to get things going this morning I stole a meme from Ash (She got me going for the post every day nonsense anyway).

Ash is brilliant by the way go read her and she is even more inspiring because she did a complete virtual metamorphose and in that way she is a good reminder for me who much sides we all have! (fun thing is I liked both ashes ;-)




I pod meme Version I


What does this year have in store for me?

No man's woman Sinead o' Connor Hey i hope not!

What’s my love life like?

Sacrifice Anouk I think I am gonna conclude that the fortunetelling abilities of my I-pod are minimal.

What do I say when life gets hard?

Pagan Poetry Björk Maybe: "this time I m gonna keep me all to myself"

What do I think of upon waking up?

Dansen met Alice Doe maar Sure I wake up dancing all the time! oh well I am quite a morningperson ;-)

What song will I dance to at my wedding?

My darling child Sinead O' Connor As I have pretend weddings with my daughter all the time this is quite appropriate funnily enough. I love this song love it love it.. the soundtrack of mother love..

What do I want as a career?

Fragile Sting

My favorite saying?

Marieke Jaques Brell Zonder liefde, warme liefde lacht de duivel de zwarte duivel (without love, warm love the devil laughs the black devil) If you don't check out any of these songs do look at this one. It is the most brilliant number ever This clip is subtitled and you'll hear how to say my name (my real name that is)

Favorite place?

September Clouseau Die zomernachten Dansen in het maanlicht (those summernights dancing in the moonlight). I have cheated with the clip it is another one of Clouseau



zaterdag, januari 26, 2008

fed up!

Girl has an earinfection which probably means that I 'll have sick kid at home for the third week on my working days!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I meant it when I said I had been flexible with changing my plans..

vrijdag, januari 25, 2008

intention update

Elianne has posted her intentions update and since I need to post one more time to day I follow her(always a good idea to follow zus.

MY list

Most spectacularly failed:

3 get some structure in my housekeeping but we were sick most of the last 3 weeks

Succes

1 Write a blogpost everyday.

Done it so far!!!

2 Make something at least once a week

I have created something more then once a week so far!

4 Keep the corners of my home fresh and beautiful.

See three

10 I want to stand still and notice something beautiful every day

This is going very well

14 I want to register my business'

Done it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

17 I want to do a regular voluntary job in my church

I seem to have one don't know if I like it

19 I want to give at least one compliment a day

Going well Mostly because I raise my kids using praise but I do tell people in the street that they were a gorgeous skirt or something and it is fun (when flying to London an immaculate chinese lady approached me in the ladies room to tell me I had funky hair. I felt fabulous.)

25 I want to eat more organic

I do my best!

32 I want to buy some art this year

I did but I can't yet tell you about it. Is is fabulous

39 I want to make plans and be flexible if life goes the other way

Had a lot of exercise in this one the last couple of weeks!


Hey the year is 52 weeks long:

11 I want to see some more of Minnaerts field physics (One of his books is translated in english there are actually 3 books about all kinds of daily physics..)

12 I want to learn to crochet

12 and relearn to knit

13 I'd want to do lots more embroidery

15 I want to find some more clients

16 I want to do some public speaking this year

18 I want to at least have one conversation in French and one in German this year. So I can keep pretending I actually speak those languages

20 I want to get my drivers license

21 I want to get a new dog this year

22 I want to cherish old friend a bit more

23 and make some new.

24 I want to give a party this year

26 I want to share more of our wealth

27 This year I want a meaning full Lent

28 I intend to eat out of the vegetable garden this year.

28 I want to finish painting the attic and repaint some dirty corners.

29 I want to sell some of our old stuff

30 and give other things away

31 I want to take pictures every week

33 I want to give more handmade gifts

34 I want to write a poem every now and then

35 I want to cook some fancy stuff from scratch every now and again

36 I want to conquer my fear for cooking fish

37 I want be more productive with my time

38 I want to enjoy my wasted time

40 I hope to be optimistic this year this list is a good start!



Daily joys


"I want to stand still and notice something beautiful every day"Is number 10 of my list of good intentions. I think I do succeed in this one and thought I would share: Birds, I am absolutely incredible thankful for the joy and beauty of birds in my garden as of late. For us this is not taken for granted. Since our house was only build 6 years ago (it formerly was a football pitch and runningcoursepark) and since there live more cats then people we never had many birds. And this year we get rewarded for the slight neglect of the garden by sights like this.. I love it!

Yes these are the christmaslights still up. But this picture was taken around noon so see we need the extra lights!!!!

donderdag, januari 24, 2008

If you googled your way here

asking yourself "when do crocusses bloom". The answer I think is not supposed to be january but still they do:

Inside my daffodils bloom and that somehow is january for me. Cheap daffodils from Albert Heijn.

dinsdag, januari 22, 2008

No fever flue

Boy was out with classic flu in the weekend girl is having a 40+ fever right now. And me I feel every muscle in my body I have dreamed that I was made of rusty iron last night. I was literally shivering and clapping teeth from the cold yesterday I can't hold food nor water but according to the thermometer I am fever less.

So I guess for the first time in my mommy carrier I am so exhausted it disguises as flu!

herschel (Spacecake ;-)


herschel (Spacecake ;-)
Originally uploaded by mijk42
My dear husband had his birthday yesterday and I made him this cake to treat his colleages. It is of the Herschel satelite. He wors and a space organisation that builds an instrument to go in this one!

ANd further you ask? further nothing we all have flue. So he has had no presents no nothing. We plan to go to the zoo on sunday to celebrate!

zondag, januari 20, 2008

Supermom made pictures

ingredients of a super day:

Two cheap canvases (they loved rolling on the colour!):
a design: A couple of old newspapers for drying:
and a picknick basket to pass the time till one can continue painting:
The end of the wall was completely bare. I hung this masterpieces there and decided to hang something made by mom and dad too. This is the first wall you see when entering our house. Seems like a good introduction to me!

zaterdag, januari 19, 2008

My mr Doolittle

If I write the post I was planning on today I need to get upstairs to get the pictures of the camera but since there is an idols live show and an apple pie in the oven I leave that for later. Today proof for number 3 on this list!
My Husband having a conversation with a Moose in Finnish Lapland...I mean you have to love a man like that haven't you?

Ok that was to be expected

I knew life would deal me some sort of kid related crap after I announced myself supermom on the internet. But two nights of one o'clock and 3 o'clock wakings and then waking at 6and only wanting to get back to sleep when I sat on the wooden kitchen chair in the corner of the room (long story she is working on it but for now it is needed). was not what I was prepared for. To make things worse the first was a single parent night. Very very tired......

Will do the saturdaypost later today!

donderdag, januari 17, 2008

Inspiration needed


I found this tiny swatches of my weddingdressfabric. They would have been gorgeous to use if I had made my own baptismdresses and well I didn't. But I want to make something special with it. Any ideas? Oh here is the entire dress. (I picked the most dutch pic I could find.. )


woensdag, januari 16, 2008

Supermom

for years I have tried to make my son admit that I am actually Supermom. Of course he always told me that I was just an ordinary mom. I finally got him to admit my supernatural powers by argumenting that seeing that I have two super children I can't be just an ordinary mom.

I am only joking of course I am very much a good enough mom. As most of us are I guess. I however today had one of those supermom days.

Son was still ill and we had painted a painting had another picknick where I gave them a hard boiled egg and the saltshaker. So once and for all they could find out for themselves that too much salt is not tasty at all. Then mailing some letters on their own bike and playing in the playground. It doesn't sound much but it was a day filled with jokes and cuddles and pleasure..

A super family day...

dinsdag, januari 15, 2008

I have a number!

Yes, it is official. Today I registered my business with the chamber of commerce. I am so happy but not the scared panicky happy I always thought I would feel. I am more relieved to cross something of the to do list (I also informed the taxoffice today.. ) and I am already very busy with the next steps. I feel not daunted but capable and that is a damn good feeling!

maandag, januari 14, 2008

Learning the stitches


I think I have told before I had a bit of a thing with learning when I was younger. I actually thought there were things I could do and things I couldn't do. Thankfully about 5 years ago I started to see my error (yes, slow learner). So I now am happily practising all kinds of things. Here is a little sampler made form the sublime stitching book I gave myself over christmas. I did my first splitstitch and I finally got the hang of the stemstitch can you see my improvement in the red heart and then I did the pink one out of pure joy. And I had actually two children fighting over this!


I love embroidering and I think I actually got a bit better at it over the weekend!

zondag, januari 13, 2008

bugs

I have a bug my darling daughter gave it to me. She was on my lap on thursday looking at our weddingpictures in the official white leather album when she suddenly announced: Mom, puke is coming. I threw the album sideways trough the room and held her of the furniture. A minute later we had a square meter of dirty floor but a clean album.

It is a great story this is what married with children looks (and smells) like but I am happy to let someone else tell this story. Did I tell you how much I love my weddingphoto's?

vrijdag, januari 11, 2008

Winter picknick

Yesterday it was gray it rains and we don't feel like eating since we suffer from a stomachbug. So I packed a picknickbasket and the children had a picknick in the forrest. Sometimes as a mom it is the funniest thing to do something unexpected like that:
I am sorry for the blur but I don't want to flash on my children on moments like this..

The power of trust

In the last couple of weeks I've been practicing the art of trust. More trust and confidence or something like that.
When I was a first time mom I was so shocked to find how completely strangers told me what was 'wrong' with my child whenever he cried.

Oh he is hungry. He is too hot, he is too cold. I hated it. After a couple of weeks walking around with my lovely daughter (who did cry sometimes too!) I realised it never happened.

I then realised that I was a mom who had some confidence in her ability to parent. So people trusted me too know what her baby needed, because I trusted myself as a mom.

Reason I am thinking so much about this right now is that with my business it works quite the same. I completely underestimated how scary it would be to put my business out in the world and when I did in those early stages people were worried for me or very enthusiastic started to gave me bag loads of advice.
Because apparently I didn't show I knew what I was doing and indeed I wasn't and I got influenced by people and got scared and didn't want the advice so I quit talking about it and I drifted further and further away from what I wanted, form the heart of my business. Without really knowing if I really wanted to do it anymore

And then I had to decide: Do I want to do this?I got myself this book. (Buy it if you are dutch and want to work for yourself!)

And It all started to come together again. And before I knew it I was enthusiastically talking about my "Bureau voor levensverhalen" at a party and the response was so different. I trusted me and they trusted me.

It is such a funny process but it works somehow. No conclusions on how and why and no I am not going to be a convert to the secret but I am feeling quit good right now about this re found concept.

Funny thing is that since we have had some sleep trouble with daughter (this is the understatement of the month by the way) I got myself some parenting books from the library and what do I find there: magical thinking. Young children think they can change the world by thinking a change. So funny that it took me 32 to relearn this!

donderdag, januari 10, 2008

I am not known for making the same thing over and over again


but I swear these bees put a spell on my.. They want more bees in the world and more bitty booties too..

woensdag, januari 09, 2008

Cocolonely (edited to add a lost sentence so now it makes sense)



Over the christmasbreak I bought my first piece of Tony Chocolonely. Thankfully this alternative is as good as it is chocolate. It was very very good. That is good because I consider trying to never buy other again.You see this is slave free chocolate. Apparently a lot of others aren't . In fact it seems that most of the chocolate we eat is produced using workforces considered by the United nations as slaves, some of them are children. It is a fact I found hard to swallow. I like my chocolate.

Thankfully this chocolate is as tasty as it is beautiful packaged. The site is in dutch but if you go to the links sections there are lots of sites listed that are in english!

dinsdag, januari 08, 2008

Reading out loud


Yesterday I made someone a sandwich and a glass of milk and then while she ate I said in a chair and read out loud. You'd think I was busy as a mom. I was not. It was work. Work for my business and this is what I chose to do and it is lovely. Because you know what I read this elderly lady (who had napped and forgot lunch!)?

I read her the story of her life. Over the last year we have spoken regularly about her long life about what she did and how it felt what she regrets and what made her happy. We really looked back on a long and special life and we saw patterns and growth. Yesterday I read her the final chapters and as I watched her I saw her smile and nod and it was like I could see the memory's rushing thorough her head and when I saw one lonely tear rolling down her cheek I knew I love my new career. I want to tell people their own stories.

Because no matter who you are, you have your own special story

maandag, januari 07, 2008

Party!


the 3 year old girl and her brother scootering around our bedroom. She is so happy with it! I like this selfportrait by my husband..



She had a grand party! It had a Dikkie Dik cake and Nijntje slingers and a scooter and a my little pony castle and a party dress. That hung in the room because she was not wearing it. I was gobsmacked till she told me today: I can wear the dress to my daycare party, it is still clean!!

What she did wear? A too small pair of trousers and sweater. Put on by her big brother when I left her bedroom because I didn't want to get upset about the partydress failure..

I had shopped for a while to find that dress after I gave the sewing plan I however made the 'button'

For daycare today I made the simplest cupcakes in the world but she was so proud (She did bake the cakes herself!)

So not a very coherent post but there you are partypictures and here I am 7 days in the new year and 7 posts!

The girl she is three..



This is yesterday's post because although technically she is 3 today we held her party yesterday. No computer time for me. I was running around cutting cake, assembling presents and playing with My little pony's. While it was a busy day inside my head it was quiet and I was so in awe of this little girl that 3 years ago I hadn't met.

She is a challenge but the most glorious challenge I have ever accepted in my life. Today three years ago I had a doctors appointment at exactly 41 weeks of pregnancy. We had a scan to measure fluid levels. We were a bit scared after her big brothers birth..

I remember the doctor saying go home and get yourself in labour. So I did..
On the way home I thought hey whats that and during the day more regular tiny contractions were felt. Husband was at work and son was playing so very sweet and in a very calm and light day I repacked two hospital bags put all the clothes through the dryer so they would smell fresh (they were in that bag for some weeks remember). Around 5 husband came home and from that moment on there was labour. Since we would go to the hospital I rang the babysit. Who was in the bus driving almost past our house at that moment. She ate my dinner and we went to the hospital. At 22.23 our girl arrived in the world.. She screamed and I was so happy (all her brother did was making small sights of pain). In our hospital babies sleep in a baby room but will be brought several times during the night. Around 1 a nurse told me your daughter has this big big eyes that take in all the world around her. At three the same nurse brought my girl and said: You are going to have your hands full with this one. I wanted to let her cry for a minute because I was changing another baby. But I couldn't, she didn't allow it. She knows what she wants and she knows how to say it. Congratulations mommy. This nurse was a prophet. This is my girl still and it is both fantastic and so hard..

Todays post will be all about the 3 Party

zaterdag, januari 05, 2008

vrijdag, januari 04, 2008

edited!


Elianne asaid we could do monthly updates on our good intentions list. So here is proof that I do try to make my house prettier. I'll update with the link but hey I had tyo post today! Edited: this beuatiful print was by Birdnerd on etsy..

donderdag, januari 03, 2008

God is a giant

That's what my son told me today. He is a giant because he is bigger then man and because he connects heaven and earth..

I love this image..

And I try my best to gently learn my son that this is an image. That in fact God is a word invented by people to speak about something so gigantic that our mind cant fully wrap it up. And that it is ok to use these symbols but not ok to believe them to be true in a human way and not ok to hold them against others as an absolute truth...

So see this as a little warning if I am supposed to post every day of the year, this will not only be crafts and domestic living! I have contemplated posting about religion often but am a bit scared because I am a very liberal Christian (But don;t confuse that with not dedicated!).. But hey faith is something to be spoken about even for us who are not complete sure all the time!

woensdag, januari 02, 2008

good intentions..


I love january. It is such a fresh and clean month. Full of promises and crispness. It is like the first page of a new notebook. In january everything is possible. In january I dream with more hope..

I don't think I would have signed up for a daily post for a year in any other month…It is beyond insane, but somehow it fills me with encouragement instead of dread. Only in january..

Elianne has posted 40 resolutions on her blog. She made me laugh but then I thought why not? 40 is probably better then 5 as you get to be more specific and more specific usually means more doable.. And anyway it is a list and I love lists

1 Write a blogpost everyday.

2 Make something at least once a week

3 get some structure in my housekeeping

4 Keep the corners of my home fresh and beautiful.

5I want to play with flowers and greenery a bit more

6 I want to sew a medieval/elvish dress for my self

7 I want to take the time to dress and care for myself even on ordinary days

8 I'd like to bake bread more often

9 I want to be out and about everyday

10 I want to stand still and notice something beautiful every day

11 I want to see some more of Minnaerts field physics (One of his books is translated in english there are actually 3 books about all kinds f daily fysics..)

12 I want to learn to crochet

12 and relearn to knit

13 I'd want to do lots more embroidery

14 I want to register my business'

15 OI want to find some more clients

16 I want to do some public speaking this year

17 I want to do a regular voluntary job in my church

18 I want to at least have one conversation in French and one in German this year. So I can keep pretending I actually speak those languages

19 I want to give at least one compliment a day

20 I want to get my drivers license

21 I want to get a new dog this year

22 I want to cherish old friend a bit more

23 and make some new.

24 I want to give a party this year

25 I want to eat more organic

26 I want to share more of our wealth

27 This year I want a meaning full Lent

28 I intend to eat out of the vegetable garden this year.

28 I want to finish painting the attic and repaint some dirty corners.

29 I want to sell some of our old stuff

30 and give other things away

31 I want to take pictures every week

32 I want to buy some art this year

33 I want to give more handmade gifts

34 I want to write a poem every now and then

35 I want to cook some fancy stuff from scratch every now and again

36 I want to conquer my fear for cooking fish

37 I want be more productive with my time

38 I want to enjoy my wasted time

39 I want to make plans and be flexible if life goes the other way

40 I hope to be optimistic this year this list is a good start!

dinsdag, januari 01, 2008

Can I do this?

Probably not, seeing I only posted 4 times in december. But I will because most of my new years resolutions are about rhythm and structure and growth and discipline so here I go

Happy new year dear readers, lurkers and persons who stumble here and just want to know how you make a bed (My husband will die laughing if he finds that that is my most common search term)