dinsdag, april 24, 2007

more thinking

I’m in a weird state at the moment I have those days that I don’t do anything. I am ill too. I have an aching throat I have a headache I don’t want to eat I feel feverish but I don’t actually have a fever. Of course being ill is in my mind the only excuse not to do anything. It’s not that I never do nothing I do but I have so much guilt over it..

I am getting complicated aren’t I? I just am figuring out if it wouldn’t be wiser to accept that sometimes I have periods in which I am not so productive and maybe not the mom or partner I am at other times. Do I give myself the all clear for not making the house as pretty as I want, the business set upo as fast as I think it should and more things like that. Is it failing or is it just the way thinks work with me? Do I grow from this periods do I need them or is it just depression creeping in? Or fear an am I missing out if I don’t do certain things? Is it good for me or not?

It is a hard one for me because for me it is a whole new concept for me. I always just felt bad over these unproductive faces in my life. But that didn’t make them go away and there was lot of guilt coming from that path. Maybe it really is time to revisit my goals and work them out. My therapist sort of presented this option in our session yesterday and I feel the urge to go running towards her to ask is it ok? Is it ok? Which is funny because the whole thing is just about not thinking what other people would think or expect.

So I am not going to run to her I’ll tell you instead. It might not be crafting but I am improving! And that is hard work I tell you….

2 opmerkingen:

jojo* zei

If you're not feeling well, there's no sense in feeling guilty about what you can't do. Take it easy on yourself. We all have ups and downs. Life is a marathon, not a sprint. Hang in there!

chest of drawers zei

Yes, be easy on yourself now - I understand what you are going through and sometimes you must go with it and let yourself feel what you are feeling. The world around you will adapt and wait for you.