maandag, oktober 30, 2006

Breaking the circle. Positive things: a list a day

I'm in the circle again. The circle down. Tired overwhelmed, cuddling up in myself and then feel lonely and tired and overwhelmed and don't do things and feel failure and lonely and tired and cuddling up in myself.
This blog suffers as on of the first things of my life. I want my little corner of the internet to be a comfy happy place so I found it hard to write when down. But I know it helps. So in a sudden flash of inspiration I decided to commit myself to a daily happy post this week

Since every one knows lists are the easy way out always I'll make lists (besides Amy likes them and Amy is the queen of happy things so that is good vibes for this project...

So I'll start with 13 things I'm proud that have to do with me and only me.. (this would be an endless list of bragging if I was allowed to be proud of the children)

1The fact that I have learned to learn.

2 the fact that I have managed to transform our mealtimes into a cosy calm together moment for our family most of the times. It actually is becoming one of my favourite moments in time. We do a round of 'how was your day' for all the family members (I was inspired by Orson Scott card and the Alvin Maker series for this!)
Son asked daughter this today and she answered (translated by me she is not that bright ;-)
daycare pay sing 'ish ish in a water' and she started a full song show with motions.. And her brother said: 'it sounds like a very nice day' and then he went to ask the dog if he had been walking.. Somtetimes your family is everything you dreamed it would be..

3 The fact that I have managed already to brag about my children without breaking my self applied rules..

4The fact that in the 7 years I am making my paper we made a huge quality improvement and I had a lot to do with that.

5The fact that I can face criticism most of the times without bursting into tears.. That has been so different

6the fact that I helped my husband through depression and came out in an even stronger relationship

7 The fact that I am actually gonna put this bragging list on the internet. Even putting facts on it. The feeling of needing to defend this or excuse it is strong but I won't I'm allowed to be proud of myself.. (Although I am struggling 6 to go !)

8 The fact that I have managed to transform my faith from the acceptance of the tradition I grew up with to a new evolving way of thinking, learning and questioning. My faith is so different and so much more grounded and with so much more doubts that enrich my life and faith.

9the fact that I changed from a person who lived in the future to a person that enjoys the moment

10the fact that I lost 7 kilo's of weight the last couple of weeks.

11 I'm proud of myself for allowing myself to be vulnerable

12I'm proud of the fact that I haven't forgotten an appointment in years. I bought a good family calendar and I use it ..

13 I'm quite proud I'm still blogging and crafting.. and even prouder I get read sometimes or even see comments (I love them! Please say hi!)

5 opmerkingen:

autum zei

Hi Mijk! I hope making this list and putting it out there helped you to feel better. These are all things you should be very proud of!

Cricket zei

Hi Mijk,
I've been reading for a while, but you drew me out to comment.

I read because I am curious about your Dutch life. Twent years apart, I had two Dutch fiances, but no Dutch husbands, and I've always wondered what it would be like to not only visit but live in Holland.

chest of drawers zei

You have a lot to be proud of, I always read your blog and like having you around! I like your list and share many of your struggles. You are not alone, I am here for you!

Amy zei

Another list from Mijk - I do love them.
I'm jealous of #2 - I'm striving to make mealtime better here too - but am struggling.

And #8 (is that the one about faith?) I'm having a bit of a crisis of faith over here.

But kuddos for trying to get back to blogging even when you don't feel like it -- if you think it will help!

Gina zei

It all sounds wonderful! You should be proud of yourself.